Some items of interest you may have missed if you haven’t been following the news closely this week:
1. New York State lawmakers, noting that “times are tough and it’s just not right to rely on drivers as a source of revenue” unanimously agree to reduce traffic ticket fines and DMV fees and surcharges across the board.
2. A driver reported a recent incident where he was pulled over in his red lamborghini after getting clocked at 105 in a 35 mph school zone. The officer exclaimed “Wow, awesome car and awesome driving. Dodging all those children at that speed isn’t easy. Just wanted to stop you to say I’m impressed. Have a good day.”
3. Traffic ticket lawyer offers free ticket defense to all for the month of April because “it was never about the money…it’s all about helping people.”
4. After years of motorists trying to avoid driver license points by driving safely and contesting traffic tickets, the DMV changes everything with a “Points Are Good” campaign. License points, in the tradition of Chuck E. Cheese and other arcades, are now redeemable for small prizes like kazoos, candy and fake vomit.
5. A speeding motorist was pulled over in Westchester, thanked the officer profusely upon getting stopped and requested “a big speeding ticket, if possible” to teach her a lesson and encourage her to stay at or under the limit in the future.
6. DMV clerks statewide ban together to announce their new “Move Fast, Try Hard” campaign. A spokesperson explained that “even though we have no financial or other incentive to try to provide the correct information or push ourselves to clear the long lines, we’ll just do it because it feels right.”
7. A traffic court judge recently ruled in favor of a motorist after a lengthy traffic hearing. The issuing officer was clearly impressed and stated for the record “Good one Your Honor. I was totally making half of that up.”
8. New York State announces new “Bad Drivers Lane” for the exclusive use of our state’s worst drivers. The Commissioner of the DMV explained that it is just “useless and quite frankly tiresome” trying to get these drivers to conform their driving to the existing laws, so we’re giving them their own lane where they can drive anywhere from “barely to extremely recklessly.” This lane will be separated from the others by reinforced concrete barriers.
9. After numerous engineering surveys, speed limit changed throughout New York State to “Just Be Careful.”
10. An upstate New York cow recently had her license suspended by the DMV for too many mooooving violations.
Had to throw that last one in for my kids.
Disclaimer: We do not promote reckless driving, swerving around children at high speed or purposely accumulating license points.
Happy April and Drive Safe!
Submitted by Scott Feifer, Esq.